Monday, November 4, 2013

Hijabis vs. Non-hijabis?♥

Monday, November 04, 2013

Femme's Reflections is a feature I created on my blog to share my personal reflections.

Hello everyone, time for an updated blog post :) I was planning on writing two this week, but I got carried away with family time. Although, thank you for the feedback on the last post guys, I really do appreciate it! I get all kinds of lovely messages and emails from you all, and they just make my day and night - thank you again. I try to respond to everyone, but I'm always reading them everyone, truly always humble me with your kindness. Sending halal kisses your way!

There's always cat wars going on between hijabis and non-hijabis. Who's better, or who's more pious? Who even cares?! This isn't jihad with each other! Allah passes his verdict, not us silly humans..

I respect women who wear a hijab, and I respect those even more who wear the hjjab correctly and act in a modest manner. I wrote this blog post with all good means, and I don't mean to offend anyone. Sometimes, I joke here and there in this post and previous posts but that's just being me - I'm no one to judge.

I just want to start off by saying just because you wear a hijab and I do not does not make you better than me. I find it a bit uncomfortable when hijabis sin openly but I try not to judge, because I don't wear a hijab so I don't know what's it like to be a hijabi. I believe in the statement "Only God can judge me." but to a limit. At the end of the day that's a Tupac quote guys, man's dead.. or hiding. Stop feeding off his lyrics and finding excuses to sin.

If you know it is a sin, but choose to already go with it then God has already judged us. In Islam, he is the ONLY one who has ultimate authority on judging and passing a verdict. Allah ta'la has told us to advice others, but no one likes to hear advice these days. I have a couple of cousins who wear hijab, and if I even give advice on what's prohibited in Islam, they get ready to bite my head off and ask where's my hijab instead? I don't wear a hijab because I'm not ready for it. I rather not sin openly. I want to aim for perfection when I wear a hijab. Of course, only Allah is perfect. I just want to be close to perfection. I want to wear an abaya with the hijab and wear long skirts and loose dresses. I don't want to wear strong makeup when wearing a hijab. You do realize if you wear a hijab yet you wear smokey eye-makeup, you're still drawing attention to yourself, the hijab won't really protect much. I once went to an Islamic Convention in Austin, Texas and the Alma there stated this as well. A hijab does not suit heavy makeup, ruby woo MAC lipstick or smokey eye makeup looks from chanel or revlon. This isn't my opinion loves, this is Islam 101 for you. This verse is for every Muslim woman who has an imaan including me, not just hijabis.

"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity (modesty); that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what may appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or guileless male servants, or the children who know not women's nakedness. And let them not strike their feet so that the adornment that they hide may be known. And turn to Allah all, O believers, so that you may be successful."

Al-Noor, Verse no. 31

Your eyes are your biggest charm rather than your body. With your eyes, you can easily seduce someone without even trying anything physically. With your eyes, you can just commit sin openly and dramatic eye makeup just draws people in even more. Why do you think Islam emphasizes so much on preserving modesty and lowering the gaze?

Men, you glance once, okay. Second glance? Tauba kero. 

You like gazing into her eyes? Haraaaaaaaaaam.

Stare at the damn ground instead fool. 

I dislike pictures like these.

Are you trying to make me inferior compared to a hijabi? That I'm less of a Muslim than she is? That I'm dirty? I cover up a lot more than some hijabi's, but you don't see me going upto them being all in their face saying "IF YOU'RE A TREASURE, WHY ARE YOU IN PUBLIC? HIDE YOURSELF!" You may wear a hijab, but that proves nothing about the person you are within.

If only hijabi's are considered pure, chaste, modest, pious, and a treasure .. then what are the rest of us? 
What if a hijabi is not chaste and goes out partying and drinking, is she still a treasure?
 Is a hijabi still considered modest when her clothes don't reveal anything but are still tight and see-through? 
Is a hijabi still better when she disrespects her parents and defies them? 
Is she still better than me? 

How do you hijabis feel when you see these kind of images?

Not a good feeling when the tables turn on you eh? Solely, a hijab does not prove everything about a Muslim woman. One hijabi can commit the biggest sins secretly but you won't see it, because she is covered. I don't cover my hair, but you don't see the good I do yet pick on my flaws? Just realize by hurting others is a sin as well. Sometimes a non-hijabi can cover up and still preserve her modesty.

I remember years ago, when I was sixteen years old and I was driving home from school with my mother. I saw a hijabi wearing extremely tight clothes plus she was really curvy, so her shape showed more. She had a t-shirt on and was holding hands with her skinny boyfriend. It was an odd couple. Anyway, I was like to my mom "Look at this girl, why doesn't she take off her hijab before sinning so openly like that?" I remember my mothers word to this day. She replied "Why does it matter if she's wearing a hijab? She shouldn't be sinning at all.."  That day my mother taught me an important lesson. I realized Allah does not look as closely to our appearances as much as he does to our actions and hearts. I realized these misconceptions about hijabis sinning more are just made by our society and culture. In Islam, every bad deed is equal and no man or woman is above another. Allah judges us equally. Hijab doesn't always reflect the person we are within. It's for modesty, not always identity.

When a hijabi sins, it automatically becomes ten times worse in peoples eyes. I understand that she may be disrespecting the hijab and giving a wrong representation of herself. She does not represent Islam though. I sympathize with my hijabis - tension not larkis, I still love you. It bothers me when people say "Oh, where's your hijab? Why are you judging?" If I was calling a hijabi vile names, that would be judging but sincere advice to prevent a sister from sinning is wrong?

There's a difference between advising and judging. I just want my hijabi sisters to realize when you wear a hijab, you put yourself put there in public for people to judge, just try not to bite every person's head off who even gives sincere advice - some people truly do want the better for you, thanks.

I really dislike the word "HOEjabi." Why call someone that in the first place? It's such a bad insult. If she's a "hoe", then she's just a  "hoe" Why do you have to bring hijab in it? Leave that part out. You're disrespecting the hijab more than the hijabi actually is. I don't even like hearing that, and I don't even wear a hijab. Just imagine how the hijabi might feel.. Don't even insult the hijabi like that.  *insert angry face here* Found one ..

(Why's it pink and red ? Multicolored angry face)

Have you ever tried to put yourself in her shoes? To have such strong courage and to wear the hijab everyday especially in western society, I don't have that kind of courage so keep doing your thaaang missy :D I can think of various times, where people judged hijabis in my presence and I could not do anything to stop them. You can't argue with the ignorant.. I remember I was out with my friend and we saw a hijabi and she was like "What's this hijabi doing here? Why doesn't she just stay at home instead of being around these men?" Well first of all, she was with female friends, it's just whenever you will go outside - na-mahram men will be there. Why can't this hijabi enjoy her life as much as you my friend? She's not doing anything bad, just having a good time with her friends just like you and I are. If she shouldn't be out, then you shouldn't be out either. I shouldn't be out either. Islam does NOT only apply to her because she wears hijab, it applies to everybody.

It's strange how people always believe hijabi's are more pious and modest than non-hijabis. I remember a hijabi once in high school, who took off her hijab right in front of me to pose for pictures so she can facebook them. I've seen, I've known non-hijabis that are dedicated to their religion. I've seen a lot of hijabis that are dedicated to their religion as well. No stranger ever believes that I'm devoted and pious. I guess it's because in this modern era, most Muslim women are found at clubs more than a Masjid. I don't care if people believe me or not, because my Allah believes in me. My family and friends believe me and respect me. Only their judgement matters to me in the end. When people question my deen on purpose to hurt me, it makes me sad. Not for me, but for their sorry soul when they have to face Allah one day. Instead, I don't let it get to me. I pity people like that because their hearts are so stone-hearted that they don't even feel bad about what they're saying or doing. I stay silent at times especially when I'm angry because I don't want to say anything hurtful to them. I can be the nicest person alive, but I can also become the most vicious nastiest creature you have ever seen in your whole damn life BUT I won't. I'm not you. What difference would that make if I drop as low as them? Instead, I pray that Allah forgives them like I have.

I remembered I had a conversation with this young lady once, she wore a hijab and stopped listening to music and relied on naats instead. She didn't pray though. I don't wear a hijab and I listen to music but I have been doing my daily five salahs since the past two years. Everyone struggles with their imaan in different ways. I find praying to be easier than wearing a hijab in public. I remember as a child I was addicted to haram chicken a.k.a McDonalds. I stopped two years ago once I found more of Islam. Instead I rely on Krown Fried Chicken Halal version!

Alhumdulilaah for those, otherwise I'd miss my murgi. 

I have had people told me to wear a hijab and I don't mind at all because hijab is compulsory and Allah's command. In'sha'Allah I will wear a hijab one day. I have an intention of wearing it one day though, I don't know when that day will come maybe after marriage or after I have done Umrah, I don't know but I will one day. And, if I die before, Allah will still know that I made a niyat to wear a hijab one day. As for now, I'm working on my deen one step at a time. I don't think I'm better than any Muslim and human being out there. I don't compete against others, I never have. I rarely get jealous or envious of others and when I do, I remind myself that she has things I don't, but she doesn't have what I do. I don't believe in jihad with others, I struggle with myself. The only person I want to be better than is the one I was yesterday..

Bottom line, everyone sins. I'm sure the prophets at one point made some minor mistakes in life even though they were close to perfection. We should strive for the same perfection, instead of putting down others and hurting them. Rather we should help each other with advice, be better critics, Muslims and most importantly be better human beings..  Hijabi's are human beings as well and so are non-hijabis. This isn't a battle among us, everyone struggles with their imaan. This is our true jihad, the battle within ourselves. People have their good and bad, but if you're true to yourself, your deen, and Allah then good always outweighs bad. Whether good or bad, be kind to all.. Don't try to judge, simply advise because in the end,  Allah is the ultimate judge. If he can forgive us humans, then who are we to judge?

.. Stay in tuned for my next post guys :) Thanks for reading xo

"Whoever is kind to His creatures, God is kind to him; therefore be kind to man on earth, whether good or bad; and being kind to the bad, is to withold him from badness, thus in heaven you will be treated kindly. He who is not kind to God's creatures, and to his own children, God will not be kind to him. Kindness is a mark of faith: and whoever doesn't have kindness does not have faith.

-Prophet Mohammah(phub)..

With love, Benish Khan.
Personal Instagram @FeministReflections
Featuring IG Page @Femmmefatale_


  1. Love this from both point of views! So inspiring

  2. Love it. Im a hijabi too but understand where your coming from. Its true. Some hijabis are pious Maa'Shaa'Allahwhereas others go clubbing (however whats in their hearts and whats behind the doors counts) and non hijabis are pious and some arent openly (once again behind the scenes is what counts) Anyway loved it♥ xx

    1. Yess, glad you agree hun! Thank you.

  3. You have a talent for writing. You should really publish a book xx

  4. I love open-minded blogs and this one is perfect :)

  5. So open minded, love your viewpoints always - you speak the truth :) I love reading your blog posts and love your femme Fatale page as well, so inspiring to see a young confident lady empowering others, keep it up x

    1. Aww thanks so much Hun, lots of love :)

  6. I aoiked that you brought out both viewpoints, so perfect. You're an amazing writer plus you're funny! loooool one of a kind beauty - true femme Fatale!

  7. This is really good! Everything i think, you said!! xx

  8. This is brilliant!!

  9. I am a non-hijabi (and not muslim) and I believe that as long as you are a good person, that is all the matters. who cares what you wear on your head? if you are a kind person thats what matters most. this was well written and hopefully people read this and understand that non hijabi and hijabi people depend on how you act.

  10. Aww thanks so much love. I agree, it's a personal matter between you and God - people shouldn't be so quick to judge.


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