Wednesday, April 1, 2015

The Rise of Books on Suicide in Young Adult ♥

Wednesday, April 01, 2015


 Feminist Reflections is a feature I created on my blog to share my personal thoughts.



I've noticed a lot of suicide books in Young Adult.

I don't understand if that's actually a good thing or a bad, it's a mixture for me. Allow me to explain why.

The Bad: I hate the concepts of some of these books in Young Adult books - and yes, I used the word HATE for once.


1) Love can cure suicide

Allow me to face palm myself in the face because of this reason. Well hello, All the Bright Places. I know, it might sound "romantic" when someone is depressed and suicidal, and they find passionate love and they change.. . but honestly, it's really NOT realistic. I don't buy it when *SPOILER ALERT* Violet was saved by Finch's love. Even though, Finch couldn't be saved but Violet lived. *END OF SPOILER* It felt too romantic..  It wasn't a bad book, I did like that the book raised more awareness about mental illness. I study psychology for the past five years, so my days usually revolve around the concept of psychology and mentally disturbed patients and clients. Not once, have I found out that love made them want to live again. Not once, have I noticed them wanting to change because of love. 

I have noticed that they DO become well because of interpersonal relationships but not love such as the wonderful book This Song Will Save Your Life. I can understand when people say love has the magic to this and that, okay not literally the magic though. It's not really love that is doing that, it's your emotions.. It embarrasses me when people say "love can create a child." Actually, no that's biology. I have known some women who are pregnant, but they're not in love with their partners. Anyway.. love can help sometimes, but it's not enough to cure someone from suicide or depression. A person also needs care, attention, TIME, therapy, and medication. 

A partner's love for you can change you? Hmm.. that can be controversial, that's basically saying because you have a good partner now, so you're changing. 

"She makes me want to be a better person." Controversial..

"He inspires me to be a better person." OKAY.

"I want to change for her." YES.

Why does the credit always go to someone else or something and never yourself? You change because YOU want to, not because others want you to. If a person was depressed before they met you, they WILL likely be still depressed even after you're with them. They might be slightly happier, but the lurking thoughts are still close. My Beautiful Failure is actually an amazing book on suicide, it explains the misconceptions about this concept.

2) It's too depressing: 
If I had a child, I wouldn't want my twelve year old reading a book about suicide especially if the character actually committed suicide. It it's a book I find appropriate for their age, then sure they can read it. Books on suicide actually make me so sad .. They disturb my thoughts, what if a person who's already suicidal read these books? What happens then ..


3) Suicide partners.
Uhmm.. My Heart and Other Black Holes. I haven't read this book yet, so I cannot pass a comment on the actual content. Although, the premise bothers me. You look for someone else to commit suicide with you? That is just one of the saddest things I have ever read.. It actually makes me want to cry. That has me thinking, this book will inspire some people who are suicidal to look for others who are suicidal to .. die together?..  That thought alone scares me. 




The Good:

This is one of those books that have always stayed with me, it's the only book that had actually made me cry so much. Hannah does commit suicide, she has thirteen reasons.. The reason I love this book so much is because of the ending, the ultimate message it gives. It doesn't encourage suicide - not at all, it gives an example of suicide that could have been prevented if someone even noticed. This book raises awareness. It taught me to speak up more, help someone who's depressed, even if they don't want to get help, I'm still clinging to them. I don't care if they want to be left alone, if you're depressed, I'm sticking with you until sunshine doesn't pour out of you.
This is actually inspired from a true story, I did love the overall concept and plot of this book. It explains if someone was vulnerable from the start, they have more chances of being suicidal. It also shows the negative impacts of the toll death takes on the loved ones of that person.. It's realistic. 



These are very two unique Young Adult books, they discuss *SPOILER ALERT*  suicide as the ultimate sacrifice. Giving up your life to save someone else's, now that's different. *SPOILER ENDS*


I find it brilliant if writers can take the concept of suicide and make it into something meaningful and to raise awareness. Otherwise, if you're just trying to create a romance with suicide - then that is rather heart breaking. Young Adult is read by adults too, but mainly teenagers - teenagers are young, they can make impulsive decisions - sensitive topics should be handled with care, because many people who are suicidal are vulnerable too. Suicide in books should be used to create awareness and change, not to promote romance. If you know someone who is depressed and on the verge of being suicidal, TALK to them.

The number below is for the national suicide prevention hotline.
 1-800-273-8255

What do you guys think of books on suicide? Do suicide books in YA promote awareness?


  • Shukran for reading this intense post..  Leave your blog links in the comments & I'll be sure to check them out & follow :) Stay in tuned pretty creatures.. 

    “Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness.” —George R.R. Martin 
    femmmefatalee@gmail.com

70 comments:

  1. I haven't read My other black holes, so I would have to see how the concept is developed before saying something :)

    -> SPOILER GUYS, SPOILERS FOR ALL THE BIGHT PLACES I HAVE WARN YOU OKAY!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!

    I actually loved All the brght places. I mean, I think it was pretty brutal and realistic. I think Violet didn't really want to kill herself, she just had to face a huge trauma and she's still trying to. Finch.. you know what happens to him. In the end, he was truly loved by Violet but that didn't save him, didn't change anything.
    That book left me with so many questions. Could someone have done anything to help me? I guess I'll always wonder.
    I think the point of these books is to let people see that suicide is an illness just like cancer and others. Just because it's a mental issue and not a physical one, it's not less important or easier to overcome. And to avoid such endings you need to talk about it because, even though you have to be the first to want to help you, there are people out there (such as psychologists) and so on that can help you, we're not as alone as we think :)

    I really liked this post, it made me think, thank you :)

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    1. Thank you for your thoughts Frannie :) I agree that Violet was depressed because of her sister's death - although, I feel that the author indirectly implied Finch was the one who saved her. In the beginning, literally he did - but she started changing after getting to know him.. I just didn't buy that. It sounded like, his love saved her. I did like the awareness of mental disorders though.

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    2. I was actually going to make the same point that Frannie did. I felt like AtBP showed that love isn't enough to save someone and that Finch needed help that he wasn't getting. Violet's situation was a bit different because she was (justifiably) depressed after her sister's death and not suffering from a true mental illness. I do see your points in this post, though!

      Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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    3. That could be true, I just feel that Finch's love ultimately saved Violet, even if she wasn't suffering from a mental illness, it doesn't sound .. realistic to me. - One lived, and one died which makes me rather confused about how suicide was portrayed in this novel.

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  2. Ive been dying to read I was Here! I hope i will get a copy soon!

    www.sarahrizaga.blogspot.com

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  3. Will take a look for the german translation!

    Greets from the EDELFABRIK
    Chrissie

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  4. Such a fascinating, well thought out post Benish! I love your first point, even though I LOVED All the Bright Places, I do agree that love shouldn't be the fixer upper of all of your problems, including mental health. It's just not a realistic or healthy message to be sending people.

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  5. I do understand where you are coming from but I loved All the Bright Places because of the very realistic "after". It was a beautiful read but I do agree that love isn't a cure for things, rather the person in trouble needs to decide and change for themselves because they want to live, not because someone else wants them to.I do like the awareness that some of the YA literature out there is bringing to youth but I wouldn't necessarily want my kids to read it either, kind of a double edged sword when you think about it.

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    1. The suicide awareness is good, however, sometimes it just seems like a trend these days to make a good book.

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  6. Hahah it's funny because I looked at All The Bright Places the other way around, where SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS Finn committed suicide because love couldn't help him, but I never saw it the other way around with Violet. END SPOILERS OKAY.

    But yeah I have to agree that I don't really think love solves the problem. I haven't read many of the books on your list besides ATBP, but I will get to it soon. Like Thirteen Reasons Why. That sounds like such an emotional read!

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    1. Thirteen Reasons Why is one of THE BEST BOOKS EVER. Read it! ♥

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  7. Oh, I'm with you on Thirteen Reasons Why, Benish! I love that book to bits because you're right, it does raise awareness and was done so well. It breaks my heart whenever I think of that book but that ending was perfect and bittersweet, even though it made me really sad.

    The topic of suicide is very personal for me so I don't read books with that theme often. But I did talk about it once on a review: http://www.notsoliterary.com/2013/11/review-goodbye-rebel-blue-by-shelley-coriell-coyer/

    This is such a great discussion Benish, thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Amir @ Not So Literary!

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    1. Thank you for dropping by Amir ♥ & Yes, glad you could relate. Thirteen Reasons why is indeed a wonderful book - Off to check out your post now :)

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  8. What a well thought out post. I am not a big issue reader and I don't like all the depressing books out there. Sure most of them have important messages to deliver, but do we need all these tear your guts out books? I am one who likes to look at the positive and laugh and it seems humorous books are harder to find. I think that suicide books can be important, but I agree, I don't think I would want my young child reading it unless we talked about it.

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    1. AMEN to your comment! I feel authors are just trying to create some kind of romance with suicide, it rather upsets me. I love humorous books as well ♥

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  9. Thirteen Reasons Why is definitely one of those books that always stays with you. It does promote awareness, and I applaud the author for it. Have you read Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver or Hold Still by Nina LaCour? Both include an important message along these lines.

    When it comes to suicide being a more common theme in books, I think it's more to raise awareness. I haven't read many of them, so I don't know if some of them feel like they're sending the wrong message. Even though love might not make life better with the snap of your fingers, I think it can make a difference to some degree if the person is willing to accept that love. Too many people ignore that depression is serious, so whenever any author is willing to take on the topic, I say "thank you" because it can help give insight to people who don't understand fully.

    This is a great post, btw. Thanks for sharing. :)

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    1. I've read If I fall before, I thought it was a wonderful book with a good message - I haven't Hold Still, but I shall look into it now. Thank you for putting it under my radar now! I agree depression is usually ignored by many people whereas it is serious. Thank you for your thoughts Jessica ♥

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  10. I have this weird fascination with books dealing with suicide... not sure why. It's just one of my weird thing like how I like books about killers. Most of the time they backfire on me though cause I'm just not the most emotional person and I end up feeling nothing for these characters...
    I've only read (heard) the last three on your list and out of those three the only one I liked was My Heart and Other Black Holes. I loved that one actually. I've also heard Falling Into Place and This Song Will Save Your Life. Both of those are also very beautifully sad. I don't mind these types of books, but I don't like when things become a 'trend,' you know?
    If these books help even one person then bravo to them :)

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    1. I haven't read My Heart and Other Black Holes, although, I am hoping to check it out sometime soon. Thank you for reminding me about Falling Into Place and This Song Will Save Your Life, I almost forgot to add them in! I really liked those books as well, they're quite different & I agree the trend is upsetting .. Thank you for your thoughts Nereyda ♥

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  11. Great post

    Love Vikee
    www.slavetofashion9771.blogspot.com

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  12. You know, I've never really thought about suicide in YA books before. Mainly I read, well anything other than contemporary, so it doesn't come up as much. (And I tend to shy away from anything that has to do with suicide because it kind of ruined my high school experience. I don't need to read about it when two of my friends attempted it within two weeks of each other.) But you make some great points. I haven't read any of those books, but I agree with your dislike number one. Love doesn't cure your pain. That's like saying all those people who have friends and family that care aren't loved. And that is total BS. It's all in your mind and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change how you think and feel. I don't like the idea of love saving all. Sure it might give you a reason to change your thinking. But it's all up to the individual in question to find the motivation to fight through the hurdle. So I wouldn't be opposed to reading a book dealing with suicide that helps empower people who are depressed if the subject was handled well.

    Dreams @ Once Upon A Dream Books

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    1. Thank you for dropping by today! ♥ & YES, I agree if the book is all about empowerment and awareness, then I'm all for it - but a lot of the books these days have misleading concepts .. which I don't find reasonable. It does mainly depend on the individual after all, people can influence their decisions, but they can't make it for them.

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  13. OMG yes! I get so annoyed that all of the credit for someone getting better going to someone else and how a character miraculously becomes better after meeting someone, like you said they're still going to have depression afterword. I completely agree that Thirteen Reasons Why was an amazing example of a book that dealt with the topic of suicide and raised awareness of it. Seriously awesome post, thank you!

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    1. Thank you for agreeing Katie, I'm glad you could relate! :) Thirteen Reasons Why was just perfection.

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    2. Thank you for agreeing Katie, I'm glad you could relate! :) Thirteen Reasons Why was just perfection.

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  14. I definitely think that we need more awareness on mental issues and suicide, but writers do really need to be careful on how they approach it. I actually really liked All the Bright Places, and there was a quote on how Finch felt like it was the only way for him. I don't really think that he was trying to save himself with love, I actually think he knew that he needed to end but he wanted to save Violet first.
    Missie @ A Flurry of Ponderings

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    1. It's not about Finch I'm making the point about, his death couldn't be stopped. As you said he did "save" Violet which is the point I have made in my post :)

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  15. I've written a book and it contains a small snippet about suicide but I agree with everything you're saying too - I've noticed it becoming a more 'trendy' thing..... don't know how i feel about that to be honest!!

    www.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you for your thoughts Jade, and all the best for your book :)

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  16. This is a tough topic, I think the rise of suicide in YA is somewhat of a good thing because it is a topic that needs to be talked about. However, like you said, I don't like when it is romanticized or treated in a negative way. I think it is good so people can see the effect their actions could have on others and show people that there are ways to overcome this.

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    1. Thank you for relating to my thoughts, It really does bother me when suicide is romanticized in novels. I do like it when books are raised for awareness though.

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  17. I haven't read any of these book, I generally stay away from that topic, but they do sound interesting! And I really enjoyed your post! So much! It was thought out and very insightful, really. It is a very hard subject to approach.

    Lovely post!

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    1. Thank you Magen for your thoughts, I really appreciate it!

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  18. I love that you included the Suicide Hotline in your post. :) I haven't read many books about suicide--I tried reading this Song Will Save Your Life, which discusses it, but I had to put it down because of the descriptions that involved razors...I get woozy really easily and I just couldn't read on, though I want to try it again later. I'm not sure how I feel about these books...I think it can be potentially dangerous that some books seem to be trying to romanticize it, but there are other books that I have heard did a great job, so I think it depends on how the book handles it. Great post!

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    1. Aw thank you Gabs! This Song will Save Your Life was a bit depressing in the beginning, but the story does get better as it progresses. I hope you do give it another try soon :) Some authors can write a great book on suicide, it just bothers me when it is tried to be romanticized.

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  19. I completely agree with everything you've mentioned in this post Benish! It always makes me a bit uncomfortable when a book portrays love as something that can "cure suicide," like in All the Bright Places. And the idea of suicide partners provokes the same uneasy feeling in me as well.

    I'm glad that suicide is becoming more common in YA because it really helps show teens what a horrible thing it is, and what bullying and teasing might lead to if it goes far enough. It's one of those topics that so many adults feel uncomfortable discussing with teens, which is why books like these are so important if they are written in the right way.

    Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking post! ♥

    ~ Zoe @ Stories on Stage

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    1. Thank you for sharing your intriguing thoughts Zoe & I'm glad you could so relate! A lot of the topics in the books about suicide can be uneasy especially if it's tried to romanticize it - I do love it when books do raise awareness. ❤️

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  20. I agree. Suicide is so much more complicated that "because of her love, I am cured". It's so much more deeper and rooted in the person affected than that. The change has to come from within themselves. I'm happy that you included in these posts the kind of statements that are more acceptable and realistic. I'm sure love can affect a person who is depressed, but the "I want to change FOR HER" is just more realistic in this case, because it still stems from the person themselves.

    Faye at The Social Potato

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    1. Thank you Faye, and YES, I'm glad you could agree with the post :) I agree, depression and suicide is much more deeper than love - if love was the cure, then no one would really commit suicide. It has to come mainly from the person themselves - thank you for sharing your thoughts x

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  21. I am in the middle too. It's popping up in books so much. As long as the book deals with it in the right way, I support it. It's good to bring awareness.

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    1. Awareness is a good cause, I do believe that's one amazing way to write a book on suicide.

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  22. I think it can be a good and bad thing as well. Good because we get to raise awareness, relate to people who may be suicidal as well. But it is very depressing. I will disagree with you on the fact that love can't cure suicide. Yes, it seems like the credit is coming from somewhere else. But yes, love can cure it and help bring the person out of it because it gives them something completely new to fight for. Except when the relationship ends you can risk a relapse, it is usually not as bad as it was before. I have seen this happen, so I would have to call it realistic ;)

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    1. Hmm, I've never had someone tell me it was love that cured them. It does sound sweet, and Love does make a difference in someone's live, however, from what I have studied love isn't enough to cure suicide. A person also needs care, time, therapy, medication such as antidepressants but mainly attention. Thank you for your thoughts Olivia :)

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  23. I do not like books about suicide, whether it is YA or adult. If book focuses on suicide as a main topic, I just avoid it. Simply, this topic is not for me, I accepted it long time ago and now I just stay clear of it. So I do not have any specific opinion about such books, since it would be unfair to criticize or promote something I have no knowledge about.

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    1. Thats one way to look at things, I agree that books about suicide can be quite depressing.

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  24. This is definitely a really interesting topic. So for me personally, I know more than one case where 'love' has helped a lot. I can completely understand your point of romanticising suicide but for me, it's not unrealistic at all. I agree that books shouldn't promote suicide though and I'm glad that not many do. Even in All the Bright Places, the author made sure that the impact of it was clear. I don't know how I feel about suicide in YA. It's really really hard to know how to feel about it. On one hand, I think that it's important for mental issues to not be forgotten but I understand that the exposure can be too much. Most of the time, I'm able to connect with the characters on such a deep level that I really really love reading them. It's not that I'm depressed or anything like that, I just know so many people who have been through it. Amazing discussion Benish!

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    1. That's one approach to look at books - love can help a lot, I do agree although I just feel it's not always enough to save someone. I do love books where more awareness is raised, I did like Thirteen Reasons Why the most. Thank you for your thought Laura ♥

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  25. I agree that this is such a tricky topic to write about, but an important one too. I hope that these books help people with suicidal feelings realize that a) they're not alone, b) it's possible to work past these feelings and c) there are people out there who love and care about them and would miss them terribly if they made that choice.
    Great post!
    Jen at YA Romantics

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    1. Thank you Jen ♥ &
      Yes, I do hope that's what these books are trying to aim for.

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  26. I'm sure I've read a couple of books that dealt with suicide over the years, but I'm definitely not an expert on the subject. They can prooobably give people who are already depressed ideas, just like books about eating disorders or drug addictions can give people with an ED or drug addiction ideas about how to hide it from the people around them; however, I definitely don't think that these books shouldn't be written. If you're not already suicidal, you're not going to become suicidal because of a book you read. I definitely agree that it's a huge problem when books romanticize suicide. It's not romantic to kill yourself. And you probably won't go from suicidal to happy-go-luck just because you fall in love. I do like it when books raise awareness and deal with the subject realistically. Interesting post!

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    1. Yes, to your comment Vlora! <3 Thank you! ♥ I agree, many books on suicide can actually unintentionally give ideas to depressed and suicidal people. I quite liked I Was Here, but at one part it does go into detail about suicidal options..

      IF ANY ONE YOU READING THIS IS DEPRESSED, PLEASE DON'T READ THE BOOK FOR IDEAS, INSTEAD LOOK FOR THE DEEPER MEANING ON HOW YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS MIGHT FEEL ABOUT THE CHOICE YOU HAVE MADE.. . Okay I'm done :)

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  27. Controversial discussinons, omg, I'm bad at those in comments. I could talk to you about them in RL but on the internet uuuugh. Anyway, I see your point and, yes, some certainly aren't realistic. All the Bright Places? Are you kidding? I was like, ''WHAT THE HELL'' the entire time. It felt like it was meant to be entertainement only because we really didn't get to learn about the main character that well. With his jokes and ''Everything's all right - Everything's not all right'' deceptions. I Was Here, I did not enjoy, because, in my opinion, you can TELL if you're someone's best friend if there's something mentally wrong with your BF. BECAUSE BEST FRIENDS. Although I don't remember if she took meds? I think she did. Hmm, that changes things. I'm not into the whole ''sacrifices'' thing b/c I don't find humans very willings to do those things for others, except if they're family or people they love and even then... Maybe I'm too cynical? hahaha okay...

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    1. Aw, it's okay Lola, atleast you tried xD That could be true in the case of I Was Here, although some people are just good at hiding things from others. They usually suffer alone, and people around them might not even notice, it's not because the people surrounding them don't care though. & lol I do agree about humans are usually not willing to sacrifice themselves for others, it is mainly for family and loved ones.

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  28. I get what you mean about All the Bright Places, but with that one I felt it wasn't more to do with her falling in love so it "saved" her, I think that just being around Finch made her realise how much of a support system she had with her family, than he did with his. But I do agree, I mean, things are not magically going to change because of someone, with Finch, it was only for a while, and that darkness still comes through all the way through it, but he wanted to be better for her, but not for himself. For me, All the Bright Places worked, My Heart and Other Black Holes? I had the exact same problem with that, that you had with All the Bright Places. I really enjoyed it, and it did show the issue of suicide partners, but it did have the love saved me vibe. So that and the suicide partners thing, I don't think that would be your book at all.

    But exactly, I wouldn't let a younger YA read them, but 14+ I would, because it is an important issue, especially for younger kids who do have depression and don't know that they have depression. I guess suicide in books is always going to be controversial no matter what, but it being there, whether it is in the form of a loves story type, if it helps somebody recognise the signs in someone, then it's worth it.

    Great discussion post! :)

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    1. All The Bright Places was a decent read overall, I just didn't buy the concept of how Violet was saved. I agree interpersonal relationships and support systems can help a lot, if it was a friend or a family member - I can still believe in it. In this case it was a guy she fell in love with so it does have me hesitating.. I do want to check out My Heart and Other Black Holes, the premise does bother me, but I do want to see what the hype is about & what awareness it raises on suicide. Let's see :) Thank you for your lovely thoughts Kristy! ♥

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  29. You know what Benish, I AM SO WITH YOU. It's like, you can't just stop having negative thoughts and crushing depression because someone wants you to, you have to fight it, you have to be the one to beat it and battle everyday, it's no-one else but you, and you've got that so right. I think raising awareness is a great thing in young adult novels, it's all about seeing the signs and such, I saw them in me a few years ago and I see myself in some of the books I read, BUT, it's pointing out and showing the signs to people and than romanticising it which is a bad bad thing, it makes people think it's just a thing and not real and a statement more than an illness and negative side affect of depression. Such a great post though lovely!<3

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    1. Thank you for your thoughts Amanda! & YES, I'm so happy you could relate to what I was trying to say in the post :) Books on suicide can raise awareness, but it's a tricky concept to use in books - I feel a lot of authors nowadays use it for romance which makes me quite sad. Love can help sometimes, but I don't believe it's enough to completely cure someone from depression and suicide. Thank you for dropping by! ♥

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  30. This is such a beautiful post! I have never tried to have suicide, just thought of it but damn yeah, it's just disturbing. Great, great post, dear!


    Yani @ www.paperboulevard.com

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  31. I have to say that I'm not a fan of suicide in books. There is one book (which you may have read) that features a man who commits assisted suicide that I absolutely ADORED. But he was a grown man and made that decision as an adult. Whether I agree with it or not, I still understood him. HOWEVER, teenagers are very vulnerable, impulsive, and lack maturity to make informed decisions. So if it was a teen in the same situation I would not have thought it was okay. And I don't ever think it's a good topic in YA books either. Unless it's giving a positive uplifting message--that is NOT the love saved me. Because you are very right, love will not save a depressed person.
    Great Post!

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    1. Thank you for your thoughts Stacey! ♥ I'm glad you could agree with me :) I believe you're talking about Me Before You, and yes I loved that novel as well! I can understand as well why he chosed that path regarding his circumstances. Most of the time, suicide isn't handle well in young adult books, only a few talented authors can actually make the right impact.

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  32. Yes that's the book! I didn't want to spoil it if you didn't read it LOL :)

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    1. Aaah no it's one of my all time favorites actually :)

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  33. I am surprised that the recent popularity of suicide books. I guess it's raising awareness?! I'm sort of just blase about them. I don't hate them, but I don't particularly love them. Interesting topic. I like it. I will say that I can do w/o romance in these kinds of books. It's just unnecessary to me.

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  34. Sometimes they do raise awareness, but a lot of the times they're a miss for me - I don't think these books should be that popular though. Thank you for sharing your thoughts <3

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    1. & oh thank you agreeing about the romance!

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